It's a positive! (?)

Been wanting to update this blog long time ago but haven't got the right words to put in here. So before it's too late, I better jot down a few on what's happening in the normal married-life. :)

Alhamdulillah, we are now expecting our 1st baby. At first, we thought of family-planning to make sure we are totally ready before having a child. But after being married, talking with few experienced friends, and being Muslims ourselves, we realized that it is not our call to decide when we want it to happen. Especially when I have a close relative who is not (yet) able to have a baby, even after (almost) 5 years of marriage.

So in the 3rd month of our marriage, we found out that I am pregnant. It was a mixed feeling. Scared? Excited! Thrilled~ I first tested with a RM5 pregnancy tester bought from Watson. I was so excited that I tested on the day I was supposed to get my period. LOL. At first, only single line appeared. I thought that was it. Negative. So I just left the tester in the bathroom and after few hours, I saw the 2nd line on the indicator. Wow! Really? After doing some google-ing, I found out that if the 2nd line appeared a few hours later, it could be a false positive. Also, it is better to test the first thing in the morning when our urine is concentrated and not watered down. So a week after, guess what? I was so confident because my period is still no where to be seen. ;P So I did another test. This time, my darling bought a kit with 2 strips in it. And as expected, both strips showed positive result instantly. And much clearly than last week's. The feeling at that time? I hope I'll deliver the next day! Can't wait!

So at first, everything went great. As a first-timer, I continued my daily routine like feeding the cats, throwing off their litter, cleaning, driving, etc. Not too aggressive, though. Just, as always. We thought of visiting a clinic near our house; Klinik Wanita Metro on Monday for our first prenatal checkup. But on Saturday, I noticed some staining / blood spotting and was not sure of what to do. Since the clinic was closed on weekends, we waited till Monday. In the meantime, I was advised to have a complete bedrest and not to walkabout unless going to the loo. So on Monday morning, we went to Klinik Wanita Metro, only to found out that the clinic was still new. So new that they haven't even started operation! Sigh. We saw The Women's Specialist OBGYN Centre in the same row, and have it a go. We reach there as early as before 9am, but we got to go in around 10am. We managed to go home first, do some survey on other nearest gynaes in the area but decided to proceed with it due to time constraint. The gynae was an Indian guy. The consultation room was spacious. The assistant only checked my height and weight before entering the consultation room. After explaining to the gynae about my situation, we did a scan. First, he confirmed my pregnancy and said that it is still okay. Alhamdulillah. According to the scan, my beanie was 1 week later than calculated. But he said it's still okay and since it's only the 5th week of my pregnancy, no heartbeat was yet to be detected and he asked me to come for another scan in another 2 weeks time. He also said that I didn't have to have a complete bedrest as it's an 'old-fashioned' way. Extra rest, maybe necessary but normal activities can still be done. He added, if it's just slight spotting, there's nothing to be worried about but if it's bleeding like regular period, then most probably it's a miscarriage. Of course, I was still reluctant to take his advise and would love to continue to rest until everything is fine but hubby insisted me to follow the gynae's advice so I just continued bedrest for the day, and have my normal activity the next.

The next day, I drove about 40mins (one way) in the morning, went to the library, picked up a few books and when I realized that the books were kinda heavy, I quickly sat down. That was when I felt a slight strain on my lower abdomen, the place where the gynae did a scan on me the day before, to be exact. I was blank. I walked slowly, carrying 2 textbooks, go back to my room and drove home. As I reached home, suddenly I felt a little discharge. When I checked, it was blood, more than the spotting I had few days back. I knew that I've lost it, as I remember the gynae told me if it's like a regular period, it's gone. Trying to be calm, I called up mom and few other support system. Waited for hubby to come home from work and burst into tears. I was lying in bed. Still hoping for miracles to happen, even though I did not put such high hope to avoid further frustration. My sister told me to stay positive and see a specialist ASAP to check what's the real situation. So the next day (or two days after?), I went to KPJ Shah Alam (formerly known as Selangor Medical Centre, SMC) and met Dr Siti Esah. The wait was not that long, only 2 patients before me. After checking my blood pressure and all, she did a scan and said that the beanie was still in there but it's too soon to tell. Supposedly, my beanie should be about 7 weeks, with a weak heartbeat can be seen but according to the scan, it was 6 weeks so no heartbeat can be detected. She asked me to have a good rest, gave me a Duphaston to strengthen the uterus, and set another appoint in 1 week's time to see the growth of my beanie (if there's any). According to her, if the beanie is healthy, Duphaston will help to strengthen the uterus but if it's not, it will help to discharge my li'l beanie from my body. I was contemplating to take the drug as I did not want the latter to happen, but I took it for a few days. While consuming my Shuang Hor products with discipline.

Phew, it's tiring to tell all at once! Need some memory flashback since it was about a while ago. I'll share the follow up in the next entry.